I woke up this morning to the sound of my sweet Ricky saying, “Mommy, can we please go downstairs now?” I have no idea how long he was sitting in the chair staring at me. My mind was foggy, my body still exhausted from the emotions of last night. The night was filled with phone calls, “Did you hear? Stu is gone.” Tears. Checking Facebook to see old pictures of Stu, status updates. Prayers. Looking through boxes of old photos. Tears. Phone calls to airlines. Phone calls to friends who have contacts at airlines and hotels. Tears. Phone calls between my family members… drive, fly, drive, fly. Countless internet searches for cheap travel arrangements. Memories, questions. Around midnight I crawled into bed with no decisions made.
Ken told me I tossed and turned all night. I remember at one point around 2:00 am or so being very annoyed and telling him, “Uugh, it’s bugging me!” I was talking about the covers being bunched up and making me hot, but I probably really meant, “Cancer, sickness, disease.” When I woke up for the day, I was still bugged.
When I realized how late it was, I jumped up and rushed for the shower. I faced more decisions… wash my hair today or not? The moment that I decided that I would wash my hair despite being late, the lights went off. I opened the shower door and looked out to see that ALL the lights were off. Great. The power remained out at our house during prime hair drying hours.
Ricky laid around in my bed most of the morning. He complained a few times that his tummy was hurting. I brushed off the tummy issues with a “hurry get dressed, hurry we’ll get you some breakfast.” He whined. He complained. He cried when I made him change into pants that matched. And then he threw up. I faced another decision. Was he really sick? Was this just the result of coughing or crying to hard? Was he just trying to get out of going to school?
While I think of my aunt and her family and the decisions that they have had to make over the past few days and those they will make in the near future, I’m thankful for easy decisions on this rough morning. I’m not thankful for the loss, the power outage or sick little boys but I am thankful that my choices, today, were easy:
I will fly to be with my family and to celebrate Stu’s life.
I needed to wash my hair even if I look a bit disastrous now.
I kept Ricky home from school and he spent most of the day in this position.
Ricky is definitely sick. Fever most of the day, upset stomach after each attempt to eat. Nolan went to sleep tonight with a fever also. I really hope this a short-lived bug. I need everyone to be back to normal by Friday morning! Benny’s pneumonia is getting much better, thankfully. However we still have 4 days left of antibiotics and it is pure torture to get a toddler to take a medicine he doesn’t want to take.
Thank you to everyone who read, replied to and “liked” my previous post and to those who offered thoughts and prayers for my family.