A recap of our St. Patrick’s day, but first a little note to my boys,
There may come a day when you decide at the ripe ol’ age of 12, or 13 or 14 that it is a wise idea to sneak out of your bedroom, head out the back door and head down the street to the house of someone that you and your friends have an interest in. Perhaps it will be the girl at church that everyone thinks is the cutest girl ever. You all may decide that the best way to show your affection is to toilet paper her house in the middle of the night. So you’ll look up her parent’s names in the phone book and memorize her address, saying it to yourself over and over again so that you are sure you’ll know exactly how to walk there. (actually, who am I kidding, you’ll probably just type it into your smart phone and be on your way). You’ll gather toilet paper from your parent’s cupboards, toilet paper that they spent their hard-earned money on and walk, adrenaline filled, for blocks towards her house.
On the way cars may pass you, see young boys who shouldn’t be out this late at night and stop. Don’t worry, you’ll have a plan. As soon as you see the headlights of a car, any car, you’ll all agree to dive headfirst to the ground and lay as still as possible. Even if the only location you have to dive on is a bare bones yard, with no trees, rocks, fence or anything to disguise your bodies lying lifeless on the grass. It’s a grand plan unless that car happens to be a police car. That policeman may get out of a car and shine his flashlight down on all of you making you realize Plan A, perhaps, wasn’t the smartest plan.
But you and your friends are smart boys. You have a Plan B for when the policeman asks you who you are and what you are doing. You’ll be polite and answer his questions hoping he will have no idea that you are not actually Jimmy Weight. You’ll smile and tell him that your address is 1500 East 1672 West. He’ll take note of each of your fake names and addresses and tell you all to start walking home now and get home safely. You’ll have no idea he knows your lie until you hear “boys, your house is this way.” when you start walking the wrong direction. “Oh yes,” you’ll say as you do an about face. But just to make sure you know he’s onto you he’ll say with a smirk, “And for future reference addresses can’t be East and West, Son.”
You and your friends will laugh all the way home and decide to continue with the toilet-papering of random houses that you pass along the way.
One piece of advice for when this day comes, Buy your own dang toilet paper!
A sneaky little leprechaun visited our house this week on the morning of St. Patrick’s day. The boys set a trap to try to catch him the night before but he was too smart for it and instead did all kinds of mischievous stuff in the house. In addition to dumping out Ricky’s sock drawer, throwing stuffed animals all over Nolan and Benny’s room, making a mess with all of the green lego blocks and all of the green hotwheel cars, turning our milk green, peeing green and pooping shamrocks in our toilet, he toilet papered every area that he had visited.
This little leprechaun thought “he’d” grab ONE roll of toilet paper and make a trail all over the house, but when that one roll of toilet paper was only enough to spread from the family room, around the breakfast table and to the refrigerator he ended up using FOUR rolls. And then he felt a little guilty. He thought back to when he was a wee little leprechaun and finally had an understanding of how much toilet paper he’d wasted playing pranks on friends and on the cute leprechauns in the neighborhood. He realized that his mom probably wasn’t thrilled to wake up on a Saturday morning to find the brand new package of toilet paper almost gone, having just purchased it on Friday, the weekly shopping day. He realized all of his friend’s mothers probably had the same reaction as their toilet paper supply depleted more quickly than normal, especially the mom who was buying toilet paper for a family of 9!! Her toilet paper seemed to get used the most since there was always so much of it, and it was less obvious when rolls were missing.
To my mom and all the mother’s who supplied toilet paper without knowing it: I’m sorry! I think we owe you some cash.
To my boys, on a serious note: Don’t sneak out in the middle of the night, EVER. Don’t lie to law enforcement no matter how minor it may seem, EVER. Don’t steal from your parents, EVER, even if it’s just toilet paper.
In addition to having some Leprechaun fun on St. Patrick’s Day morning, we also attended the annual parade the Saturday before. We get there early so we can lay claim to “our” spot directly across from the announcers booth. It’s not the warmest spot, being in the shade for most of the morning, but we brave the cold to be able to hear the commentary, which is always entertaining. We catch up with friends and family over coffee and snacks while watching all the green pass by. It’s one of my favorite mornings of the year.
Hope your St. Patrick’s Day was great!